5 things people with Anxiety are tired of hearing

June 12, 2018 in Lifestyle, Mental Health and Wellness

5 things people with Anxiety are tired of hearing

Mental health is a sticky subject in this country. We only talk about it reactively, after tragedy strikes. When shootings occur or celebrities commit suicide. We offer our thoughts and prayers but we do nothing to change policy as funding for treatment, education and rehabilitation continues to decrease. Although 1 in 4 people will experience a mental health issue in their life, we gloss over the subject. They say insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. As long as I have this platform, you have my word that I will be a continuous advocate for mental health education, awareness, prevention, and treatment. The more people that can speak openly and unashamed about mental illness, the closer we become to ending the stigma. And hopefully, the better we become at recognizing someone in need before it’s too late.

If you don’t suffer from anxiety it can be hard to understand it. Likewise, if you are suffering it can be hard to explain it. As someone who has dealt with anxiety for decades, (you can read about it here) there are some things that I’ve found to be totally unhelpful whilst in the throes of an anxiety attack. Maybe this can help you know what not to say when a loved one is in need.

1. “Relax”

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This one however innocuous it seems, is not a suggestion that often helps. Relaxing is so nebulous. What is it? How does one achieve relaxation? For someone with anxiety, the idea of relaxing is such a foreign concept that you can’t even begin to define that. If someone is curled in the fetal position trembling and crying the word, “Relax” is about as comforting as sitting on a bed of nails.

2. “It’s all in your head”

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Although it is helpful to remind someone to remain grounded, this may not be the best way to do that. It’s all in your head is just a nice way of saying stop acting crazy. Anxiety thrives on irrational thoughts that continue to spiral until you totally spin out. At this point, it’s important to remind someone that you are there for them and empathize instead of shaming them. They will thank you for relating to them instead of telling them how irrational they are being.

3/4. “Others have it worse than you, or I don’t know what you have to worry about”

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This one is particularly frustrating. Now, Not only does the person feel anxious about whatever minutiae but consequently, they feel stupid for feeling anxious because their problems aren’t “big” enough to be concerning. This starts this cycle of anxiety, shame for being anxious about “dumb stuff” and culminates into just feeling stupid.

5. “You’re just being dramatic”

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If you want a surefire way to totally invalidate someone feelings, bingo! You hit the jackpot! Anxiety attacks feel real. People have often mistaken them for heart attacks because the symptoms practically mimic each other. Numbness and tingling, chest pains, heart palpitations and nausea are all symptoms of both heart attacks and panic attacks. If someone is having an anxiety attack they likely feel terrified and like they’re going to die. Don’t pile on by telling them you don’t believe in the things they’re feeling. It will just exacerbate an extremely scary situation.

End the stigma.

At the end of the day, people with anxiety just want to be understood and empathized with. In a poll, in HuffPost, it was found that only 25% of people who have a mental illness felt that others were compassionate and understanding about it. We can do better, in fact, we should want to do better. I hope this helps with understanding how it can feel for someone with anxiety.

All the opinions expressed in this blog post are my own and reflect how I feel and those whom I have discussed the subject with. If you feel differently, I would love for you to voice your opinions in the comments on the blog or on my Instagram at @rose_and_ruffles. Bullying and discrimination will not be tolerated. I want to provide a safe space for myself as well as my readers. My friends with anxiety, do you agree with this are there other phrases you’re tired of hearing. Let me know in the comments.