Even though my blog is centered on fashion for petite women, I think it’s also important to talk about how we can empower and support each other. My lifestyle series will center on meeting our goals and avoiding burnout.You can read other lifestyle posts here.

Get Real in 2018

If I’m being perfectly honest, I struggled with whether or not I should write this post. I went back and forth a lot. I weighed the consequences of what I was about to say, and decided it was worth saying. Being a very new blogger, I’ve been trying to grow my social media followings, especially Instagram, because what good is good content if nobody’s reading it? I can’t fulfill my purpose of helping people if the content isn’t reaching them. So in an effort to build engagement, I’ve been spending hours upon hours on social media and the effects on my mood have definitely been noticeable. Also what has become painfully obvious to me is that social media has evolved into, in my opinion, an ugly beast.

The evolution of social media

I remember in the early days of Myspace, Facebook, and others that we were truly engaging with each other without ulterior motives. If I gave a thumbs up to something you posted, it was because I truly liked it. Maybe we over shared back then. Okay, we definitely over shared back then. I’m pretty embarrassed sometimes when I discover old posts I made. However, my point is we communicated with each other because we wanted to, not because we felt we had to.

Actual old Facebook post

These days, social media feels totally rehearsed. Log onto Instagram and you will find tons of carefully curated illustrations of the ideal life. The feeds have been optimized in order to maximize on engagement and followers. If you’ve ever read an eBook about how to win at Instagram, then you know that feed cohesiveness is king. Stick to the same color schemes or you will never get the engagement you’re looking for. Perfectly contrasted picture upon perfectly contrasted picture shows women with the best clothes, the best hair, the hottest mates, in the most amazing locations, living their most awesome life.

Never good enough for the ‘Gram

The more I scroll, the more I feel like I’m somehow less than. Why don’t I look like that? How come my relationship doesn’t feel like that? Why don’t I travel like that? Down, down, I go in a spiral of self-loathing and doubt. I know I shouldn’t feel that way and must constantly remind myself that social media is just the highlight reel. People only show their best. And in doing that, others like me, are feeling like they can’t compare. We are only seeing half the picture. The funny thing about Instagram is, we the audience decide which photos and profiles get the most likes and the most views. And overwhelmingly, we are choosing these photos that only make us feel bad about ourselves and businesses are capitalizing off of this. Which gets me to my main point. Can we please push for making social media more real in 2018?!

Being Instagram worthy

I’m not entirely faultless either. Since starting my Instagram, I have spent many hours trying to find that perfect spot in my apartment, that ideal outfit, or props for that incredible flat lay I have designed in my head. On many occasions I have semi-jokingly referred to my husband as an, “instahusband.” And to all those real “instahusbands” out there, I truly feel for you! There’s also probably hundreds of photos in my camera that didn’t make the cut aka, not instaworthy. However, I’m hoping that in 2018, we can stop focusing on what’s perfect and start seeking out what’s real. I can’t be the only one fed up with the fake-ness and ingenuity, including my own.

Our struggles and vulnerability are what make us human and I feel like slowly the humanity is being totally sapped from social media. Also, in only showing our best side, I feel like we are missing the opportunity to be able to connect with other people and offer them support through their harder times. What’s worse is when someone does express some semblance of a human emotion, or their house is a mess, or their lighting isn’t natural they feel they have to apologize and caption their photo with, “sorry this isn’t instaworthy.” 1. What does instaworthy even mean and what all-knowing judge hands down the verdict of what is and isn’t instaworthy? 2. Why can’t being real be instaworthy? We shouldn’t have to apologize for not being perfect. Ultimately, no one is.

#GetRealin2018

Photo Credit: Michelle Owen

If you saw my Instagram post last Friday then you already got the tl;dr version of this post. If not you can find that here. Basically this is a call to action for us to start acting real. If you do choose to post something genuine, then tag it with #getrealin2018. Let’s put an end to social media making us feel like we’re not good enough. Show me your struggles, show me your strife, and show me you’re a fallible human too. Let’s use this platform for what I believe it was initially meant for.

Did you not have time to get ready because your kid was pulling on your sleeve to take him to the park? Go on with your bad self, girl, post that makeup free selfie! Did you have a particularly hard day with depression or anxiety? Talk to us, we’ll be there to support you because we know what you’re going through. Are you having a day where you just don’t feel good about yourself? It’s fine we all have them too.My hope is that if we start posting real content, we will start seeing real content. Let’s learn to engage with each other honestly, support and empower each other always, and cultivate actual meaningful relationships with people all over the world.